If I ask can the dead hear and forgive me for hurting them?

When you visit somebody that's passed away that you knew in this life, they recognize you and they respond to your salam. This is mentioned by the Prophet ﷺ in a hadith collected by Ibn Abdul Bar, where it's specifically mentioned. So for us, the main point is when you go there, remember the dua for greeting the deceased, and if you don't know it, you can find it on various apps or online, and make dua for them. Now what else can they hear? Can they hear what we are saying to them? This is where the scholars differ. Some say yes, some say no. The key point being that, as mentioned by the Prophet ﷺ, the purpose of us going there is zuru. He said, go and make sure you visit the graveyards, because this is where we will all end up. It's a reminder for ourselves, and also it's the time where we make dua for the deceased. So it's really important that we do these two things whenever we go to a graveyard. What can they hear other than that? This is a matter of difference of opinion.